Sunday, August 06, 2006

I hate shopping

Mercy, there were only 6 posts the whole month of July....that tells you something about the weather around here. It seemed like it was over 90 every single day of the month. And if it was in the 80s, the humidity made it feel like over 90. And rain? Oh my goodness. I think we had more rain in July than we usually do the whole summer. Some pretty spectacular storms too. I remember one evening when we were driving home, the lightning was solid in the northern skies. Weird, because most weather and storms comes from the west. But this one fell in from the north. There were some trees down on our street when we arrived home.

But that's not why I finally got on to blog--but did want to let you know where I've been....melting in a puddle...in my next life I want central air!

I got on to blog about shopping. Certainly NOT one of my favorite things to do. I guess when they were handing out the shopping gene, I wasn't in that line (I'm sure I was Googling about where I was heading!). I order most of my clothes and yes, even shoes, online. If they don't fit, I haul them to the Post Office & send them back. Much more fun than tromping around in a mall. I have a pair of winter boots coming from LL Bean this week. Can't wait to see those & try 'em on. $100 boots on sale for $39. How good is that?? No energy wasted, no gas wasted driving anywhere, and besides, where am I going to find winter boots on sale now?

What really drives me up the wall is grocery shopping. I find it quite exhausting, pushing that cart that never rolls right, and usually has some annoying squeak besides. I learned a long time ago not to go in the daytime. And early evening is even worse with the errant kids no one keeps track of. I don't relish getting hit in the butt or side by kids having fun with a cart while Mom isn't watching, or doesn't care.

Because yesterday was the last day of the sale for Dasani water, I was at Meijer late last night trying to do my weekly grocery shopping. I forgot that one must get there before around 10-10:30, or just about every shelf and meat counter is blocked by HUGE stacks of boxers by those wonderful stockers. I'm not complaining about those stockers tho. They are nicer than the daytime help, and have always helped me when I couldn't find something or it's not on the shelf. Wonderful people.

But I digress. The longer I'm in the grocery store, the more tired and disoriented I get. It becomes an endurance test to get everything I can remember. See, I rarely make a list. That's too painful. The less time spent on this process, the better!

So by the time I got to the aisle with toothpaste & toothbrushes last night, I and my poor brain were about done for. I did write down the name & number of the toothbrush I had been using (I dare not mention for how long, in case there are any dentists or dental assistants who might read this!) because I have enjoyed it so much. The poor blue bristles in the middle had long ago turned white. But it was a comfortable brush. It had a spring in the handle, and it was padded there too.

It occurred to me as I was writing these things down, that it may not be available in the store since it was a freebie from the last time I went to the dentist. Oh well, I thought. At least I'll know what brand to look for. Sometimes when I buy these things, the only thing important to me is the color....NOT DH's, so we don't get our brushes mixed up!!

So I'm really studying all the toothbrushes, and finally found one pretty close to what I had at home. Then I noticed it's got way too many bristles. Nope, that won't do. Can't stand those big toothbrushes that make me feel like I'm going to gag. So I put that one back and kept looking.

Then I found a smaller one, has the padded handle, no spring, but hey that's OK. It's even on sale! I think I am doing good, and decide on a blue one. Hard to get that mixed up with DH's red. I pull it out of the rack, and for some reason turn it over...HORRORS! It's open. The seal has been broken. Well, I ain't putting that in my mouth! Who knows what terrible viruses and bacteria (or worse) lurk in there!!

I sigh and put it back. A quick look in that section reveals no more blue ones. I really wanted blue, now that I found one. I try the next little section over. All too big, millions of bristles in those! One more section and I figure if I don't find anything there, then I shall continue to use my old toothbrush--after all, it hasn't killed me yet!

Then, wonder of wonder, I find another blue one. Yup, it's the soft one, yup, it's the small one, and yup, it's the one on sale. I grab the thing, throw it in my cart just about the time I remember I've been using hubby's Crest toothpaste. I prefer Colgate. And we each have specific flavors we like. Remember the days when there used to only be ONE product from each company....oh, for the good ole days....

Because I had already food shopped, and spent so much time & energy picking out exactly the right toothbrush, I guess I wasn't paying attention to toothpaste. I generally go for whatever's cheapest in a tube, and prefer it to be mint gell, but ain't even picky about that. I saw one nicely packaged with mint, green--surely that means wintergreen or spearming, right? What does it do? Whiten. OK, I can handle that. My teeth are old and dingy. It's cheaper. Perfect.

I hightail my cart up front and then out the door and home. I also do not like putting things away after I get home. I just want to put the whole experience behind me. Which is why sometimes I leave things that won't spoil in the vehicle and just drag in the stuff that needs refrigerated or frozen. Didn't do that last night. I dutifully put everything away. Threw the toothbrush & toothpaste in the bathroom.

When it was time to go to bed, I grabbed my new toothpaste and opened the end. Oh oh. There is liquid draining out instead of a thick paste or gel. That's when I first notice it's not gel like I prefer. Oh well, I think. Paste isn't so bad. Then I notice this liquid is blue. NOT good. That's means it's peppermint, not my wintergreen. I wrinkle up my lips. And keep squeezing. Hey, now there's both coming out. A gel and a paste. How very interesting.

I put it on my new toothbrush. Which feels wonderful in my mouth. But what on earth is going on with the toothpaste? I now have water or toothpaste liquid, or spit, I know not what, dribbling down to my wrist. I leave the toothbrush in my mouth, and wipe my hand. Next thing I know it is running clear off my elbows.

OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. I'm listening to Yahoo Oldies Music Station. It's playing Peppermint Twist!! How ironic.

Anyhow, I get done brushing my teeth and grab the box out of the wastebasket to see what exactly I had purchased in my fatigued state of mind: Colgate Sparkling. Yes, I knew that. Under it: MintZing. Well, that it truly is.

Then I notice yellow print over to the left, "White teeth with an explosion of Mint." Yup, that surely describes that foaming experience that makes me feel like mad rabid dog foaming at the mouth.

Underneath the White MintZing wording is, in the smallest print that I'll bet any other baby boomer couldn't read either without an adjustment of their trifocals: Baking Soda & Peroxide. AH HA! So that's what wrong. Foaming peroxide in my toothpaste. How long do you think a tube of toothpaste lasts when one only uses a teeny, tiny bit on their toothbrush.

Me thinks I will be borrowing DH's Crest on days I don't feel a mad rabid dog.

PS I turned the tube over this morning, and one of it's points is: Invigorates mouth. I can't argue with any of their selling points. I just wish I had seen more of them before I purchased the stuff
Posted by acp :: 1:03 PM :: 0 Comments:

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