Sunday, May 28, 2006

I'm Back...sorta

I would say, "Sorry I haven't been blogging," but there wasn't much I could do about it. And I started to type that I was sorry, but felt like I was lying, so backspaced it out.

It just hasn't been that pleasant in my skin the past couple of weeks. The doctor has sent me for some tests, which as of Memorial Day will be two weeks, and I still haven't heard a word. I do not know if that means there is nothing wrong, or it is so wrong they don't know how to fix it.

And don't tell me to call the doctor's office. She is away on vacation, and getting ANYTHING out of her staff is next to impossible. So I sit and manage to keep somewhat busy during the daytime, but nights are the worst. That's when the evil side of my mind comes out & reminds me that my Mom died from practically the same thing, and don't forget your cousin who lost her life MUCH younger than you, blah, blah, blah.

I've learned to play games with my weary mind, trying to get it down a different track of thinking. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. When it doesn't, I toss & turn, which does not help the blaring lower back pain that seemed to have descended on me just about the same day as the tests.

Then there are other problems with a chronic illness which I'm not comfortable sharing online. I think I am too old! I mean I read blogs of younger women with children and husbands and busy lives, and they share everything on their blog. I've always been a private person. Typing about myself isn't easy most days.

And since the last few days have been so rotten, I just curled up into a ball mentally and tried to go to sleep. But today I decided I would start reading some blogs I've been interested in, and I ran across a new one to me, "Fumbling For Words."

In a recent post she talks about taking a Triple P quiz. I figure, what the heck. Maybe it will help my attitude even if it has nothing to do with the physical crap I am dealing with.

Then I see it has to do with work. Oh joy...I don't work. Been thru & around that issue many times. Do I really want to go thru with this? Ah, why not.

So I take the little test, and find out this:



OK, if I have no passion for getting up in the morning, and I hurt, and I feel like I'm not contributing to this little ball we're all whirling on, maybe, just maybe that's why I feel a little depressed...OK, a lot depressed!

I have to assume that work values carry over into regular at home values, and how I run my life in general. If financial is at the bottom of the list, I guess that could explain our financial woes at the moment.

There's one thing I don't understand tho, and I can see where a few questions & a pat answer doesn't fit everyone. I don't think I "aim to inspire the same enthusiasm in those around me"....unless it's Culvers! That has been the high point of the last couple of weeks for me: Visiting Culvers and eating my usual single butterburger, hardly any condiments, certainly no fryes ('cuz then I don't have room for frozen custard, and I can't exist without their frozen custard!), then indulging myself with either their flavor of the day (it changes EVERY day), or a yummy sundae, made exactly to my standards. Yesterday I had an Irish Creme Sundae. I was happy for nearly 6 hours after I savored it bite, by bite, sucking it slowing off their marvelous blue spoons!! What a fantabulous taste sensation it was.

Hmmm, I think the Triple P quiz has it all wrong..What really motivates me is food!!

And by the way, for those of you who have a Culver's near you (that would be most of the Midwest now--they started in Wisconsin), don't go in & try to order a Irish Creme Sundae. They'll look at you like you're from another planet. My local Culver's has this topping leftover, and so far, all the rest of them around here do not.

And for those of you who have no local Culver's? Be patient. They are spreading towards the East & West Coast fairly quickly now. Michigan will get 12...TWELVE new Culver's this year alone. *happy contented sigh* I will have plenty to do this summer! I try to visit each new one as they open, and critique them compared to my local one, which I feel is the best on the planet!!

Thank you guys, everyone from the owner to the general manager down to the table clearers/cleaners, for making me such great food, and living up to your motto: "Everyone who chooses Culver's leaves happy." I am practically skipping across the parking lot after I eat your food.


Posted by acp :: 9:13 AM :: 0 Comments:

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